North Korea reports detonation of hydrogen bomb


January 8, 2016

Psychopathic, morbidly obese, tyrannical North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un may have just received a late Christmas gift. According to North Korean Central Television, the isolated totalitarian state detonated its first hydrogen bomb on Wednesday, Jan. 6, at approximately 10 a.m. Pyongyang time. It was also at this time that a 5.1 seismic tremor was picked up by earthquake detection devices in waters off of the northeast coast of the country.

However, North Korean television is known for its propaganda and is not the most reliable source of information. Thus, many international officials are skeptical that this nuclear test may have been a hydrogen bomb. According to some nuclear experts, the seismic aftershock was considerably smaller than what is expected from a hydrogen bomb and the country may have boosted the yield of a more traditional nuclear weapon by using tritium, a common practice used during the Cold War of the 20th century.

North Korea technically remains in a state of war against the United States and South Korea as no peace treaty has been signed to end the Korean War, though an armistice agreement was signed on July 27, 1953, putting the fighting on hold. However, on March 30, 2013, North Korea released a statement that it had entered a “state of war” with its southern neighbor.

Kim Jong Un has been known for making threats in years past in attempts to draw attention towards himself. More recently, in Spring 2013, North Korean officials threatened that a nuclear missile strike against the South or U.S. may occur any day.  This resulted in deployment of one of the U.S. Army’s Terminal High Altitude Area Defense (THAAD) batteries to Guam to defend the territory from a possible nuclear strike.

Kim’s threats have largely been hollow as no such nuclear strikes have solidified. Still, some students are worried what the latest development might mean. “I’m really scared,” commented senior Mitchell Slubowski. “I live in fear every single day just knowing that at any point, I and everyone I know could be exterminated from this earth by Kim Jong Un. I haven’t been able to sleep, eat, or even shower in over three and a half weeks. President Obama needs to do something about this.”

The latest hostile actions by the hermit nation come amidst a U.N. Security Council investigation into North Korea’s human rights violations.

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