Sideburn Skirmish


November 3, 2014

Sideburns (also known as sideboards, side whiskers or mutton chops) are patches of facial hair grown on the sides of the face, extending from the hairline to below the ears, and worn with a bare chin. Sideburns can be worn in combination with other styles of facial hair, including the mustache or the goatee, but when the hair extends from ear to ear via the chin, it is no longer considered sideburns but, a beard or a chin strap.

Ambrose_Everett_Burnside

Ambrose Burnside

The term sideburns derives from the 19th century term burnsides, named after Civil War General Ambrose Burnside, a man known for his facial hairstyle that connected his thick, luscious, sideburns by a mustache, but left the chin clean shaven.

At Cathedral Prep, students are required to keep a clean shaven face, along with trimmed hair. While most students abide by these rules, some students, such as Sean Reed, David Kuhar (during Beard Week), and Andrew Angert, try to skirt this rule, and are often seen representing sideburns, throughout the halls of Prep.

Many teachers also sport facial hair, and/or Sideburns, including Mr. Hubert, Mr. Ladouceur, Mr. Biebel, and Mr Baltzer.

After rigorous interviews with many students of Prep, it has been decided that Mr. Hubert takes away first prize for best sideburns. Many students were asked who has the best sideburns: Sean Reed, David Kuhar, Andrew Angert, Mr. Hubert, or Mr. Ladouceur? Here are some of the responses we received:

Senior Alex Ventrello said, “(Mr.) Hubert, no doubt.” Oliver Weisner followed that comment up with, “I can’t quite put my finger on it, but (Mr.) Hubert’s chops.”

Mr. Hubert

Mr. Hubert

Michael Spizarny made a great observation, telling us, “The dimensions of (Mr.) Hubert’s sideburns create the most beautiful symmetry I have ever seen.” The only votes not for Mr. Hubert were two students, Antonio Frisina and Dominic Kramer, who both voted “Wolverine (Mr Ladouceur)!” when approached.

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