Mr. Hubert’s Haircut Days explained


Mr. Hubert’s bangs flow freely on his latest haircut day.

The Rambler

Standing at a sturdy 5 foot, 11.5 inches tall, looking dapper as ever with a finely pressed pair of slacks and button up shirt, and strutting his luscious, full head of mocha brown hair wherever he walks, it is a near guarantee that at least a few heads will turn as an effect of Mr. Matt Hubert’s radiating presence. Mr. Hubert would like to think he is known around the halls of Cathedral Prep for his rhetorical expertise, as he teaches AP Language and Composition, English II, English IV honors, and Journalism.
However, 19th century philosopher, and like-minded rhetorical master Ralph Waldo Emerson has famously noted, “Who you are speaks so loudly that I cannot hear a word you say.” There are no truer words than these which so eloquently encapsulate the emotional state Mr. Hubert finds himself in one day each month, also known as haircut day. Before Mr. Hubert can go on about rhetoric, his students’ minds wander, concerned why his hair doesn’t have any gel in it today?

Mr. Hubert's bangs flow freely on his latest haircut day.
Mr. Hubert’s bangs flow freely on his latest haircut day.

If you’ve ever found yourself considering this ever-perplexing question, as many fellow Cathedral Prep students and staff already have, rest assured that there is indeed a method behind the madness. The source of all the controversy, Mr. Hubert himself, noted that “Hubert’s Haircut Days” (a term I took the liberty of coining) serve as a fundamental ritual in his life. “I don’t neglect the hair gel as a reminder to get a haircut,” he emphasized, “It’s just easier for the barber to cut it that way. I mean, why put gel in your hair if it’s just going to get washed off prior to the cut?”
This seems like a rational explanation. However, this surely isn’t all there is behind Mr. Hubert’s well thought out hair preferences. “I usually go to the Famous Hair on West 38th and Peach, right behind the Country Fair,” he said. “I don’t have a particular person who I prefer; last time I was waited on by a middle age, average height woman.” He did not recall her name but said she did a good job. Mr. Hubert continued explaining his styling strategies by saying, “I used to go to Joe’s Barber Shop on 8th and Liberty when I was growing up,” but the owner passed away several years ago.
Furthermore, when questioned on why, out of all the haircuts out there, he chooses his particular style, he explained, “Back in high school, I had a plain buzz cut. I have been getting my current style since about 2008.” However, he is unashamed in admitting that it was at the recommendation of his then girlfriend (and now wife) Jessie, that he made the decision to grow it out a little longer. “It does look more mature this way, though, and it is certainly just as manageable.”
Mr. Hubert shows off his latest haircut
Mr. Hubert shows off his latest haircut

Mr. Hubert was adamant in assuring that he holds no plans in discontinuing “Hubert’s Haircut days” anytime soon, and that his hairstyle is here to stay for the foreseeable future. Upon the completion of our conversation, Mr. Hubert did choose to add one non-prompted, off-the-cuff comment. “I do wish all my students paid as much attention to what I’m teaching as they do to my haircut,” he said. If there’s one lesson that can be learned from Hubert’s Haircut Days, I’d say that, every so often, it is indeed what’s on the outside that matters.